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ang buhay ay parang byahe sa bus

malamig ang umaga,.5am.. sumakay ako sa di kagandahang bus byaheng fairview.. gumigiwang giwang ako habang naglalakad papunta sa bandang dulo pero mahigpit ang hawak ko sa bakal na sandalan para di ako madapa.. pero sa wakas nakaupo din ako..
tumingin ako sa bintana,.. magbubukang liwayway.. nagtatalo ang liwanag sa dilim. humingang malalim... ang buhay parang byahe sa bus... gusto nating umuwi sa ating tahanan para makapagpahinga pagkatapos ng nakapagod na trabaho.. gumigiwang giwang man, nakakaupo pa din.. tumayo man sandali para maghintay ng bakanteng upuan.. masaket sa binti pero sa dulo nkakarating pa din sa patutunguhan minsan, bago ka makarating sa destinasyon nakakaupo ka pa ng maayos..

habang nakaupo sa pinakadulo, pinipilit kong pumikit, gusto kong umidlip pero sumasaket lang ang ulo ko.. minsan kasi pag may gusto ka pinipilit mong mangyari, sa kakapilit mo hindi maganda ang kinalabasan. angbawat pangyayare sa buhay naten ay nakatakda, lahat naka plano.. naisip ko, lahat ng pinagarap ko 10 yrs ago natupad.. di ko lang maapreciate ngaun kase may iba na kong pangarap.. nangingiti ako habang inaalala kong pano ko ipagdasal dati ang magkaron ng matinong tirahan, ng sariling kwarto.. ng mabili ang gustong bilhin... pero baket ngaun, nalulungkot pa din ako.. 2 mos ago, i declared that i found my purpose in life, and that is to make my God smile.. pero baket nagiging selfish pa din ako?.. haayy..

huminto sa cubao ang bus, madaming taong sumakay, iba ibang tao, kanya kanyang porma.. ibat iba ang iniisip, magkakaibang ugali.. nangiti ako ulit, parang buhay tlga, ibat ibang tao ang dumadaan... may sumasakay sa bus..may bumababa at meron din naman na kasabay mong bumaba.

minsan yung driver mabilis magpatakbo, minsan mabagal parang may prusisyon.. pero alin sa dlawa, nkakainis minsan.. pag tumingin ka sa labas ng bintana.. mapapaisip ka.. yung ibang sasakyan, ang gaganda, sila ang nagpapatakbo ng sarili nilang kotse.. minsan natratrapik sila.. naiinis.. buti nga sila, yan lang ang problema nila yung iba,.. walang pambiling kotse or worse walang pamasahe sa bus, buti pa ko may sukli pa..

naiiyak ako nung may mga bumps na nadaanan yung bus sa edsa.. kasi nung una.. konti lang.. tapos biglang sunod sunod nkakapraning buti na lang may hawakan.. tapos nawawala din... minsan nkakatakot... kasi akala mo mababangga na yung bus.. di nman pla...

bumaba ako sa kamias.. sumakay ako ng jeep papuntang delta.. bumaba sa pantranco.. pumasok sa gate... umakyat sa 4th floor ng bldng.. sinusian ng ang pinto. bumukas. si papa nag eexercise.. ang dalawang kapatid ko tulog pa...


ang sarap umuwi.. ang sarap umupo sa sofa..9 hrs straight ang tulog ko. ang sarap umuwi sa bahay.

scars of love

Some years ago on a hot summer day in south Florida a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went.He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore. His mother in the house was looking out the window saw the two as they got closer and closer together. In utter fear, she ran toward the water, yelling to her son as loudly as she could. Hearing her voice, the little boy became alarmed and made a U-turn to swim to his mother. It was too late. Just as he reached her, the alligator reached him. From the dock, the mother grabbed her little boy by the arms just as the alligator snatched his legs. That began an incredible tug-of-war between the two. The alligator was much stronger than the mother, but the mother was much too passionate to let go. A farmer happened to drive by, heard er screams, raced from his truck, took aim and shot the alligator.Remarkably, after weeks and weeks in the hospital, the little boy survived. His legs were extremely scarred by the vicious attack of the animal. And, on his arms, were deep scratches where his mother's fingernails dug into his flesh in her effort to hang on to the son she loved.The newspaper reporter, who interviewed the boy after the trauma, asked if he would show him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs. And then, with obvious pride, he said to the reporter, "But look at my arms. I have great scars on my arms, too. I have them because my Mom wouldn't let go."You and I can identify with that little boy. We have scars, too. Not from an alligator, but the scars of a painful past. Some of those scars are unsightly and have caused us deep regret. But, some wounds, my friend, are because God has refused to let go. In the midst of your struggle. He's been there holding on to you.The Scripture teaches that God loves you. You are a child of God. He wants to protect you and provide for you in every way. But sometimes we foolishly wade into dangerous situations, not knowing what lies ahead. The swimming hole of life is filled with peril - and we forget that the enemy is waiting to attack. That's when the tug-of-war begins - and if you have the scars of His love on your arms be very, very grateful. He did not and will not ever let you go.

bente minutos ng buhay ko...

shit, naiwan ko phone ko sa office, yan ung una kung nasabi nung nasa jeep na ako.. gusto ko man bumalik, 7 pesos na lang pera ko.. la na ko pamasahe pabalik, kung bakit kasi naiwan ko pa yung wallet sa bahay, pati tuloy atm cards ko.. grr.. kelangan ko pa mag withdraw bago makabalik ng office... ang lakas ng ulan... kinuha ko agad yung wallet sa bahay.. tapos bihis konting ayos, alis agad.. me pasok pa kasi ako sa e connect eh... gusto ko sana mag taxi. kso naisip ko traffic, lugi ako.. kaya naman pala, sa araw na yun, nakatakda akong gumawa ng magandang bagay ,ang lakas ng ulan... nakatayo ak0 sa kanto, nag aabang ng jeep.. napansin ko ang isang matanda, tantya ko nasa 80 yrs old na.. nakabalot sya ng garbage plastic.. proteksyon sa ulan.. me bitbit syang dlawang malaking payong.. me malaking supot sa kanang kamay.. tapos me bayong sa kaliwang kamay.. parang sobrang pagod na...parang hinaplos ng kung ano yung buong katawan ko... tinulungan ko syang sumakay sa jeep.. tapos binayadan ko na din sya... ngumiti sya saken at nagpasalamat.. hindi ko alam, [parang me something sa ngiti nya.. parang kalungkutan na tinatago.. sabi ko sa kanya, lola, dapat pag gantong umuulan me sumusundo sa inyo ng di kayo nababasa, baka mapano kayo at magkasakit pah... kinwentuhan nya ko.. me pamalit daw xang damit.. kaso di na nya sinuot kc nga mababasa din nman din xa... mag isa lang xang nangungupahan sa libertad.. umalis sya sa mga anak nya.. hinihingian pa daw xa kc ng pera.. pag hindi nabigyan, nagagalit pa sa kanya, kahit may mga asawa ng anak niya ayaw sa kanya.. di na daw nagluluto sa inuupahan nya... bumili na lang sya sa labas... naisip ko pano pa kaya sya nagbabayad ng bahay, nakakabili ng pagkain.. eh nagtitinda lang sya ng yosi at kendi sa producer sa edsa, di ko sinadya pumatak yung luha ko, sa tanang buhay ko o habang nabubuhay ako sa mundo, di ko hahayan na danasin ng tatay ko yung nangyayari ngaun ke lola.. konti na nga lang ang panahon nila sa mundo, bakit di pa natin sila bigyan ng halaga.. na kahit matanda na sila, me silbi pa rin sila at me nagmamahal pa din sa kanila.. tatanda din ang tatay ko... pero hindi ko inisip na pababayaan ko xa ng ganun ganun na lang... tatanda din ako.. at ayuko isipin na pagdating ng panahong yun.. mag isa na lang ako.. walang pamilya o walang tutulong sakin sumakay sa jeep habang madaming dala... habang malakas ang ulan... naisip ko tuloy ano kaya ang nararamdaman ng mga anak niya..?? di ba nag aalala sa kanya... pinaghirapan mong isilang sa mundo...tapos kinalimutan ka ng ganun na lang... malapit na pala syang bumaba... tinulungan ko sya... naisip ko.. sna mabawi man lang nya ang benta nya ng araw na yun sa lakas ng ulan... biniggyan ko sya ng isandaan.. ngumiti sya saken.. pag ngiti nya.. tuluyan nang pumatak yung pinipigilan kung luha... habang naglalakad xa palayo at umusad na yung jeep na sinasakyan ko.. naisip ko.. Lord, slamat po sa mga biyaya... kahit pagod na pagod na ko sa buhay ko.. sa dlawang fulltime work ko at 4 na oras lang ako natutulog sa isang araw.. slamat pa din dahil me maganda akong trabaho.. me inuuwiang bahay.. may pinapagawa pang bahay.. at kahit medyo malungkot dahil walang boyfriend, atleast me mga kaibigan.. me pupuntahan pa din ako.. yung iba kelangan pang magpaaraw para kumita ng kakarampot.. katulad ni lola.. matanda na nagtratrabaho pa.. may mga pangyayari na tumatatak sa buhay natin, isang araw lang.. pero pang habang buhay natin dadalhin sa ating alala.. masaya na din ako.. dahil kahit ganto ako.. me natutulungan akong tao.. regardless kung kamag anak o hindi... ganun naman tlga ang buhay di ba.. hindi sukatan kung anong meron ka o ano ka.. ang mahalaga nagkakaron ng silbi ang buhay mo.. at yun ay magpahalaga ng ibang tao.. bente (20) minuto lang ng buhay ko.. pero habang buhay ko dadalhin yung mga natutunan ko at mga bagay na narealize ko...

searching for true love

when we broke up, i just realize it's over,i was in for sleepless nights of agony, hours of weeping until tears refused to come, i would have to face the aching, desperate loneliness of walking into a crowd, full of strangers with no one to hold, no strong arms to gently rest my back and give me security - i was alone.i had made incredible sacrifices in an attempt to somehow cling to every short lived dating relationship that came my way, i had given pieces of myself to the man that came into my life, pieces of my heart, my emotions and my body but after that.. it always end. and the pain was inevitable. every time i felt it, it was like something precious was being violently ripped from inside of me.i yearned to be loved and cherished, i always dream of having a perfect love story for my entire life,but somewhere in the midst of the endless cycle of one temporary romance after the next, my dreams had shattered right along with the broken heart." god where are you in this? my heart cried silently.. i am your child, all my life, i have longed for something beautiful, i have searched for true love. does really a pure and perfect romance ever exist in this dark crowd and perversion and sin, should i even dare to dream of something beyond the shallow, meaningless cheap version of love I've known so far?"then came a soft tugging upon my heart, suddenly i saw and somehow knew that my life did not need to be this way and that god had something better for me, it was almost as if God himself as if was reminding me
".. i am the author of true love.i am the creator of true romance..."a quiet challenge deeply touch my heart, my spirit that moment as if god was standing before me, with tears of boundless love in his eyes whispering to my heart...."you have searched for true love in your own way, i want a script of a beautiful tale just for you but first, you must trust me with the pen of this precious area of your life and will you let me write your love story?... "
if you will trust him enough to give him the pen of your life you are in for a journey that will forever spoil you from the ordinary. it's a journey that will discover perfect love and pure romance as it was truly intended it to be...

listen for love

there are times when we are timid and shy about expressing the love we feel for feel of embarrassing the other person to ourselves, we hesitate to say the actual words " i love you" so we try to communicate the idea in other wordswe are sometimes very strange people. the only thing we want to say and the only thing we should say is the one thing we didn't say and yet because the feeling is so real and the need to say it is so strong , we are driven to use other words and signs to say what we really mean and many times the meaning never gets communicated at all and the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted.therefore we have to listen for love in the words that people we're saying to us, sometimes explicit words are necessary but more often, the manner of saying things is even more important, a joyous insult carries more affection and love than the complimented, which are expressed insincerely an impulsive hug says i love you even though the words might be saying different.any expression of person's concern for another says " i love you" sometimes the expression is clumsy,sometimes even cruel, so sometimes we must look and listen very intently for the love it contains but its often there beneath the surface.we don't always understand the love languages other people are using. A girl might unwillingly use tears to convey her emotions, but for no avail, her boyfriend ain't understand her because he doesn't know how to interpret her tears, thus we really have to exert effort in enforcing ourselves to listen for love.one enormous problem with other world is that we rarely listen, to each other, we only hear words which makes us kiss "the more important but inaudible messages that the body expresses, even worse, others have given up on being understood so everything told to them is interpreted as rejections, they do not see the love that is there just beneath the surface especially with angry words, you know what, if we'd only listens intently we discover with out most delight that we are much more loved than we let ourselves think.

first post

im really excited to have this site.. hehehe.. my first time to create an account here.. well.. it happens that i visited chris tiu's blog site... and i want to have one too.. hehehe sorry, i just came down from mountain... im not really using computer most of the time... isa akong dukha.. hehehe.. thanks to our office... hehehe.. well, as for now this is the first one to be posted here.. well.. i have a lot of things to share... but it's nearly 6pm and im outta here... guess this one don"t make sense but.. wait for the next one... god bless Philippines....tc folks!